Dating Guide

First dates can be pretty anxiety provoking. After all, you’re having a lengthy one-on-one encounter with a member of the opposite sex of whom you might know little or nothing about. Personally, I think first dates are fun. You only get to do it once with any person, so it’s kind of a special occasion even if the relationship never pans out to anything significant. The “discovery” phase in a relationship is the most exciting and thrilling time. And on the first date, there’s an endless amount of discovery waiting in the wings.

Here are a few Do’s and Don’ts to serve as guidelines for when you’re on a first date.

Do

Be Funny

The best way to break the tension that is usually present on a first date is with humor. Now is not the time to be Mr. (or Miss) Serious. You barely know each other. Lighten up and try make the other person laugh even if it’s at the expense of making fun of yourself a little bit.

Go To a Few Different Places

If the date is going well, don’t be afraid to suggest going somewhere else. It’s been proven that people feel closer to someone if they go with them to a few different bars/stores/clubs/whatever than they do spending the same amount of time staying in one spot.

Keep a Little Sexuality in the Air

Sometimes first dates can run the risk of transitioning into “just friends”. Maybe they enjoyed being around you but didn’t really view you as boyfriend/girlfriend material. To avoid having this happen, keep a little sexual tension in the air, but don’t overdo it. The last thing you want to do is make the person uncomfortable. A good tip is to keep humor at the forefront. You can keep an underlying sexual tone on the date but mask it as fun and harmless by using laughter and humor.

Don’t

Get Hammered

It’s tempting (in fact, recommended) to have a drink or two in order to loosen up on a first date. I believe all first dates should involve a couple of cocktails for each party. People can suck at first dates when they’re stone sober. However, don’t overdo it. If you let one or two cocktails turn into five or six and therein make a drunken fool of yourself, it could kill the other person’s chances of wanting to see you again.

Turn It Into an Interview

Perhaps the biggest mistake people make on first dates is asking too many questions about the other person. Relax. You don’t have to learn everything about them in an hour. I make it a point to hardly ask anything about them and instead joke around or talk about other random stuff. Like, for example, if they say they really like the beach, I’ll steer the conversation into some funny banter about how the paparazzi likes to follow me around when I’m on the beach, “it’s just one of the downsides that comes with being beautiful.” You get the picture (note: I wouldn’t say that if you really are great looking, it will seem arrogant. I can get away with it since, based on my looks, it’s obvious that I’m joking).

Go Out to Dinner

Another major newbie first-dater mistake is to take the person out to dinner. Dinner is stuffy and serious. Save it for down the road. I limit first dates to meeting somewhere for a drink. If things are going really well and each of you are hungry, you can always call an audible and go get food later. Just don’t make dinner the focal point of the date.

Try to Get Laid

First dates are not the time to apply heavy pressure for physical intimacy. A hug good night, definitely. A kiss goodnight, go for it. “Want to come up to my place?” Probably a bad idea. I’m not saying you should be turning down sex. If the evening is clearly going that direction, by all means, go for it. Just don’t force the issue. That’s the fastest way to make sure you never see the person again.